September 11, 1952  -  January 4, 2007

Mike and his granddaughter

“Honey, I am not worried.  If anything bad happens to me, I know it will be ok.”
--Mike's words to Phyllis, two hours before his death.

On the evening of January 4, 2007, Mike and his wife Phyllis were at a Lowe’s store in Hermitage, Tennessee, when he collapsed from a massive heart attack.  Efforts by Emergency Medical Technicians, and the physicians at Summit Medical Center, to resuscitate Mike were unsuccessful.  Mike was 54.

From January 13-16, 2007, the Editor corresponded with Mike’s widow, Phyllis Kelley, about Mike, his life, and his death.  The following narrative comes from that correspondence.

    Mike was prepared for death and not afraid of dying.  He had faced his own mortality before, when in June of 2004 he was diagnosed with the life-threatening cancer Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  Mike fought and overcame the disease, to the joyous relief of his friends and loved-ones.  He endured chemotherapy and radiation, and needed only one more 6-month checkup in order for his physicians to officially declare him cured.  Following that, only annual check-ups would have been required.  It adds to our sadness about Mike that his heart allowed him to push on in his fight against cancer, only to fail him after the battle was won.

    Mike had faith in Jesus Christ, and believed that Christ had saved him and would deliver him into the Kingdom of Heaven.  This faith was demonstrated by Mike's own words the night he died.  He and Phyllis were enjoying a meal at Applebee’s, when Phyllis brought up the subject of an article she had read earlier that day.  It was about a patient with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  After six years, that patient no longer had to go to the oncologist at all—just as was hoped-for with Mike.  Mike knew his loving wife was concerned about him, and wanted to reassure her.  It was then that he told her he knew it would be okay if anything bad happened to him, and that he was not worried.

    Here, in Phyllis’s own words, is what happened next:

We left the restaurant to go to Lowe’s to look for storage boxes for our Christmas decorations. Since my sister-in-law passed away the week before Christmas, and we had gone to Georgia for Christmas, and I had been going to my Mom's (she is very ill and Hospice is visiting her) every night, we had not had time to take down our inside decorations.  As Mike was pushing the buggy at Lowe’s, he suddenly stopped and bent over. I touched his arm and said.  ‘Honey are you ok?’  Mike then fell over and never uttered a word.

People at Lowe's called 911, and there was a fireman in the store that started CPR.  Several customer's tried to comfort me, and one man even followed me to the hospital to make sure I was ok and had someone with me (I had called my brother who lived close by and he and his daughter and son met me at Summit Medical Center).

As we waited at Summit, a social worker took me out of the big waiting room and put me in a smaller, more private room. Our son, my niece, and a pastor friend and his wife were in the room with me when the doctor told us.  Mike's mom, her husband, and Mike's brother arrived just after.  I think I knew the minute I left Lowe's that Mike was gone.

      Phyllis says there was no warning that this would happen to Mike.  As a precaution, his physician had put him on medication to counter cholesterol and high blood pressure, because both can be a problem for someone with diabetes as Mike had.  But Mike had not been insulin dependent; he just took oral medication for the diabetes.

      Mike was an active member of Gladeville Baptist Church near Mt. Juliet, Tennessee.  Phyllis relates that Mike admitted to having had his wild time in his late teens and early twenties, as did many of us.  But Mike looked back upon his mistakes in life in the right way: he always affirmed that God never gave up on him and was with him.

      One day shortly after Mike was diagnosed with NH Lymphoma, he found an ink pen at work with Bible verses on it about “Fear Not.”  He asked everyone nearby whose pen it was, but no one claimed it.  Mike kept the pen and told Phyllis he knew God had placed it there for him.  He carried it until November 2006, when he passed it on to his sister-in-law who was dying of cancer.   Mike said that Kay, also a Christian, needed the pen at that time more than he did.  He felt the need to give it to her since she did not have long to live.  Kay passed away three weeks before Mike.

      Mike received much joy in life from his family.  His wife Phyllis of 28 years, his daughter, his son, and his 4-year-old granddaughter, were precious to him.  Mike was looking forward to seeing his granddaughter grow up, and to seeing his son meet someone special and get married.

      Typical entertainment for Mike was listening to older country music, telling jokes, playing practical jokes at work, and just laughing and having a good time.  (That’s the same Mike many of us from Maplewood fondly remember, too) Mike worked for Accelerated Couriers since 1988 and had been in the courier business even before that.

      This past summer Mike greatly enjoyed taking his granddaughter on her first-ever fishing trip.  Phyllis got Mike into casual fishing, but they didn’t get to do it as much as they would have liked.  In past years Mike had enjoyed playing pool and pinball, but had not done that in a long while.  However, he had recently started planning on remodeling his garage and buying a pool table, so he had not given up on playing.  Mike mostly just enjoyed his off hours relaxing and spending time with his family, playing cards or other games such as Trivia Pursuit.  He also loved watching and going to Alabama football games in the fall and was excited about their new coach.  He had turned the entire family into Tide fans.  Mike also was a big fan of the TV show “24”, and was eagerly awaiting the start of the new season.

      Friends and acquaintances attending the Visitation for Mike spoke of how they loved his smile, and that he was always so happy and friendly.  Mike enjoyed people and would help with anything asked of him.  Phyllis says that he was so easy-going and laid back that few people, including her, ever saw him angry.  Mike was gifted with that wonderful trait of almost never meeting a person he didn’t like.

      Yes, says Phyllis, Mike had a good time in life.

      Mike’s Maplewood 1970 classmates Wendell Marshall, Sheila (Litton) Pemberton, Mike Carroll and Judy (Meeks) Wooden were at the funeral home.  They had been friends with Mike for many years.

      Judy says, “Mike was dressed in a blue sport coat and red knit shirt with a label pin that said ‘Roll Tide’! —Obviously Mike was an avid fan of Alabama football.”

      Judy also wrote that Phyllis, Mike’s family, and Mike’s mother, all conducted themselves with the utmost courtesy and dignity.  She says it was evident their faith was strong by their demeanor.  Judy added that Phyllis told her Mike had very much enjoyed our Maplewood 35th Reunion in 2005.

      Asked if she thought her husband might have had any regrets, or if he had any advice he might have passed on to friends, Phyllis replied that Mike regretted having ever started smoking.  He tried to give up the habit several times, but just could not.  Mike also struggled with his weight.  In 1977-78 he lost over 100 pounds, and was so pleased with his new look.  But it was a hard struggle, and after he and Phyllis married Mike gained the weight back.

      Phyllis says that Mike was a wonderful father to Kristi and Jon Michael.  Kristi was born to Phyllis from a previous marriage, and was five years old when Mike and Phyllis married (Kristi’s biological father had left when she was only 7 months old).  Mike adopted Kristi and never made a difference in how he cared and loved her or her brother, Jon Michael, who was born in 1980 from Mike and Phyllis’s marriage. Mike was a proud “Poppa” to his granddaughter, and a good father-in-law to Kristi’s husband.

      Phyllis says Mike was always a caring and thoughtful husband; he regularly helped her with housework, and would cook, too.  A poignant discovery the day after Mike died gives witness to the way he expressed his love for Phyllis.

      Mike died on a Thursday—the day before his and Phyllis’ 28th wedding anniversary of January 5th.   In the early hours of that sad Friday morning, while waiting for their daughter to arrive from Georgia, Phyllis went through Mike’s bag that he ordinarily carried to work.  Inside she found two anniversary cards Mike had apparently purchased the day he died.  One was a very sentimental, loving card that he had not signed or addressed; he was probably going to put a little gift inside.  The other was a musical card addressed “Phyllis – Happy 28th Anniversary”.  Phyllis opened the card and it played “You’re Still the One” by Shania Twain.  Inside Mike had written, “Thought this was neat!! Love you, Mikey”.   Even though it was painful to find under the circumstances, it was one of the most wonderful gifts for Phyllis to receive from Mike, and she will cherish it the rest of her life.

      Phyllis says Mike wasn’t entirely proud of everything he had done in his youth, but he was a great man in her book, and he was perfect for her.  She says he was “the best thing that ever happened to me.  He was a wonderful husband, he was my best friend, and in all our years of marriage I can honestly say I only saw him angry twice.”

      Phyllis, the rest of Mike’s family, Mike’s mother, and his friends, all sadly miss and grieve for him.

For friends who wish to express their condolences, Phyllis may be reached at peklifeway@comcast.net


--Posted January 16, 2007